"Head Of The Hawk" (2009) by Bluejuice

I honestly don’t know where to start with this one. It’s just so… bad. Yeah, bet y’all weren’t expecting that one. Bluejuice’s second album lacks what every good album (or any album at all, for that matter) should have – originality, functionality, and an overall enjoyment factor.

So, after raping this album right up the poophole in my opening paragraph, can I draw any positives from it? This is what you may be asking yourself right now. And, the answer is not as funny as you may hope – yes, I suppose, there are some good things about this record. Well, one good thing. The second single, “(Ain’t) Telling The Truth”, isn’t half bad, I’ll give them that.

But the first single? “Broken Leg”? When I first heard it, I thought they were covering “Be Good Johnny” by Men At Work – the keyboard-based intro is exactly the same. Like, I’m not even kidding here, it’s even in the same key. So, they’ve completely ripped a lead melody and chord progression off Men At Work, which is a sin in itself; but, as well as that, the Who influence sticks out unwelcome like a sore nail out of a thumb, or the Queen influences in Muse’s “United States of Eurasia”. And even with all that, I can’t get the image out of my head of Bon Jovi-style haircuts in glam suits smiling and jumping, swinging the mic stand around. Even though I know that that’s probably not what they look like.

What about that stupid “Medicine” song? What the hell is up with that? That is not entertainment. No no no. What was the aim? If it was supposed to be dance-y, it failed; if it was supposed to be funny, it failed; if it was supposed to be entertaining, it definitely failed.

All the songs sounded the same to me. Really, that was half an hour that could have been better spent listening to… well, anything else. Except for Brokencyde.

3.4
Choice tracks: (Ain’t) Telling The Truth

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